love the analogy with a car and its headlights, that applies to a lot of things in life I think, and it's something that people don't remember a lot of the time - that you don't need to see the destination when you set out.
I resonate with every line of this, Carlota. Wonderfully honestly written. Someone shared a Thomas Mann quote with me once that has always stuck: "A writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people." Judging from how you started this post, I think you've found your proper calling. Robert Frost said (paraphrasing) that a poem starts as a lump in the throat; the poet must expel it. Writing is something for me that, though as burdensome at times as a ball and chain rapped round my ankle, I have found in recent years that I cannot live without, cannot ignore, and, like you say, go about my life peacefully. It is simply my lot in life even if no one is reading / listening, and the more I live, the more I long for stories, the more I desire to build a lore and ethos of my own. It sounds romantic and to me, it is -- the most romantic thing in my life. At the same time, it brings to mind a cliché. Find what you love and let it kill you.
So much to unpack here, James... Your comment reminds me of something a guest said to me once. The episode was about the usefulness of 'happiness' as a life compass, a vague term which is often widely misunderstood and yet applied so frequently. His suggestion was to, instead of pursuing 'happy states', we found something worth suffering for, since a certain degree of pain is inherent to existence. To him, doing so was the only path towards some sort of fulfillment. The etymology of the term 'passion' also points to something similar: suffering, that which must be endured.
That quote from Mann - so true.... Thank you for sharing, and for the kind words...
'Even if no one is reading / listening' - Accepting this has been a pivotal in determining how I show up in my writing / creative life. The motivation, the passion, for me, needs to be intrinsic. Which might sound obvious, but has taken me a while to begin to grasp and embody...
The devil's advocate in me feels like challenging your last sentences. While I'm, sometimes, nothing short of a romantic myself, I'm also of the opinion that there are many paths to an authentic artistic life that do not involve tormenting oneself, like many drunk broke literature heroes whose glory only saw the light of the day once they were dead...
I do believe in callings, but I don't think there's only one calling for everyone. I felt a true calling to theater as a kid and until I was 28, that was my love. When I turned to writing I was thrilled by the freedom but uneasy about my ability to earn a living. I started editing my friend's stories and fell in love with the process. I have been an editor for 26 years and I still love my work.
What happened to theatre, Jennifer? I'm curious :p Yeah, the precarity in the writing path... navigating that one. Glad to hear you find joy in what you do!
I agree that not everyone has a calling. I think it's important to make a distinction between a profession, or how one makes one's money, and a calling in the more spiritual sense of the term. Some people do feel called to dedicated their lives to service. In some cases, it really is a calling, it seems.
The closest I've felt to a calling was the impulse towards writing my first book. The unfolding of events in my life was pointing to a clearer direction with each passing day. One of my living questions is how to make space for such magic to continue to take place, while ensuring some kind of financially stability, hopefully even thriving, which at the end of the day, in the world we live in, is mental stability too...
Writing is fun and I love it, but editing is truly a calling for me because I am helping someone else to find their voice and tell their story...and to bring something new into the world, like being a midwife or a gardener.
Theater is still a love of mine but I don't miss the never-ending auditioning and the rejection!
love the analogy with a car and its headlights, that applies to a lot of things in life I think, and it's something that people don't remember a lot of the time - that you don't need to see the destination when you set out.
I resonate with every line of this, Carlota. Wonderfully honestly written. Someone shared a Thomas Mann quote with me once that has always stuck: "A writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people." Judging from how you started this post, I think you've found your proper calling. Robert Frost said (paraphrasing) that a poem starts as a lump in the throat; the poet must expel it. Writing is something for me that, though as burdensome at times as a ball and chain rapped round my ankle, I have found in recent years that I cannot live without, cannot ignore, and, like you say, go about my life peacefully. It is simply my lot in life even if no one is reading / listening, and the more I live, the more I long for stories, the more I desire to build a lore and ethos of my own. It sounds romantic and to me, it is -- the most romantic thing in my life. At the same time, it brings to mind a cliché. Find what you love and let it kill you.
So much to unpack here, James... Your comment reminds me of something a guest said to me once. The episode was about the usefulness of 'happiness' as a life compass, a vague term which is often widely misunderstood and yet applied so frequently. His suggestion was to, instead of pursuing 'happy states', we found something worth suffering for, since a certain degree of pain is inherent to existence. To him, doing so was the only path towards some sort of fulfillment. The etymology of the term 'passion' also points to something similar: suffering, that which must be endured.
That quote from Mann - so true.... Thank you for sharing, and for the kind words...
'Even if no one is reading / listening' - Accepting this has been a pivotal in determining how I show up in my writing / creative life. The motivation, the passion, for me, needs to be intrinsic. Which might sound obvious, but has taken me a while to begin to grasp and embody...
The devil's advocate in me feels like challenging your last sentences. While I'm, sometimes, nothing short of a romantic myself, I'm also of the opinion that there are many paths to an authentic artistic life that do not involve tormenting oneself, like many drunk broke literature heroes whose glory only saw the light of the day once they were dead...
I do believe in callings, but I don't think there's only one calling for everyone. I felt a true calling to theater as a kid and until I was 28, that was my love. When I turned to writing I was thrilled by the freedom but uneasy about my ability to earn a living. I started editing my friend's stories and fell in love with the process. I have been an editor for 26 years and I still love my work.
What happened to theatre, Jennifer? I'm curious :p Yeah, the precarity in the writing path... navigating that one. Glad to hear you find joy in what you do!
I agree that not everyone has a calling. I think it's important to make a distinction between a profession, or how one makes one's money, and a calling in the more spiritual sense of the term. Some people do feel called to dedicated their lives to service. In some cases, it really is a calling, it seems.
The closest I've felt to a calling was the impulse towards writing my first book. The unfolding of events in my life was pointing to a clearer direction with each passing day. One of my living questions is how to make space for such magic to continue to take place, while ensuring some kind of financially stability, hopefully even thriving, which at the end of the day, in the world we live in, is mental stability too...
Writing is fun and I love it, but editing is truly a calling for me because I am helping someone else to find their voice and tell their story...and to bring something new into the world, like being a midwife or a gardener.
Theater is still a love of mine but I don't miss the never-ending auditioning and the rejection!